I Dress Myself Short

Today I want to share with you one of the insecurities that I’ve had of myself ever since I was a kid. To most of the people that I know, I’m quite an outgoing person with a loud personality that gets along with almost everyone. But underneath that exterior is also a vulnerable person who’s defense mechanism is to get along with others in order to cover up a weakness. Nobody is perfect, even if they don’t show it. Everyone has a way of hiding things, and some people deal with worse things than others. But the only way to not allow your insecurites to affect you is to realize and admit that you have them and then determine what methods you can take to overcome them. Here’s my journey through one of my long-hidden insecurities that I’ve never shared with anyone.

When I was younger, I grew pretty quickly – vertically that is. Along with my petite frame, I was always one of the tallest girls in my class, and sticking out in elementary school wasn’t always the best idea. When you stick out, it gives other kids the opportunity to bully you, even if you did nothing at all to them (as is most of the cases). I ended up being called a giraffe and made fun of just because I was so much taller than all of the other girls.

As a kid, I was taught early on that ignoring bullies was the best way to stop them. After all, the only thing that they’re really after is attention. And although I did my best to ignore them and never instigated anything, it’s hard to admit that what they did/said didn’t affect me. I’ve always thought that I’ve gotten over my past and grown beyond what has happened, but thinking back to when I was younger and reflecting on how I am now really shows how my past shaped my present.

I’d have to say that I’m lucky that loose clothes are in right now. I love drowning myself in layers not only because it’s comfortable, but because I think it best suits my body type. The bagginess helps to hide my lankiness and actually helps me look shorter than I actually am. Which is odd, because compared to many other women that I’ve met, I’m not exactly ridiculously tall. I guess that I just grew at a younger age than most other girls, and that difference made me an easy target for bullies. And ever since those days in elementary school, it’s shaped the way that I dress myself and how I feel about my body.

I dress myself short to not stand out from the crowd, but it’s time to stop. I’ve fully embraced that my body is my body, and I can’t change what I’ve been born with. Regardless of what others think, there’s always something imperfect about them as well, they just may be hiding it better than me. And because of that, I have to take it upon myself to turn my distinctiveness into a strength.

So instead, what can I do? I still enjoy wearing loose clothes – but now because it’s comfortable and makes it easy for me to do anything all day long without worrying about ripping a seam. And now I also add some heels into the mix to counteract the stuntedness that baggy clothes can create. With polar opposites working together, I’m back to looking my normal height and I couldn’t care less about what others think of me.

Why? Because I am who I am, and there’s no reason to live trying to please others. At the end of the day, there’s only me to take care of myself. I constantly remind myself that regardless of how much I try to please others, they’ll always choose themselves over myself, which means I need to take care of myself first and foremost.

I hope that I was able to help anyone else out there that has insecurities about themselves. Remember that there’s only one of you out there, and it’s up to you to take care of yourself. Never try to change the person that you are just to fit into someone else’s mold, because at the end of the day, they’ll only care about themselves and will eventually move onto someone else.

Sweater – OAK + FORT | Jeans – Garage | Boots – Forever 21 | Jacket – Zara