Today’s post is going to be a little bit of a lesson: never settle. In reference to this cage-like top, never feel that you’re confined to the boundaries that you are currently facing. I’ve learnt the hard way that you are your worst enemy, and that no one can really control you except for yourself. It’s important to understand your worth and what you’re willing to settle for because if you never really figure out what you think that you deserve, you’re never going to be happy.
I’ve been told that I can be a bit of a pushover. I willingly go out of my way to help my friends and even offer them help in situations that don’t always deem offering to be required. And most of the time, my friends have been pretty good with repaying back the favors – even without me having to ask for them. I’d say that I’ve made some pretty good friends that share the same values as me. But sometimes, some of them are not so much.
In the past, I never really understood that I could remove myself from an unhealthy relationship purely out of the fact that it would be beneficial to me. I always regarded breaking things off with anyone as a personal failure and that I hadn’t tried hard enough to fix the situation. I felt that I was the one failing the relationship since I was the one initiating the break off.
But when you think about it, it’s obvious that the receiving end of the kindness will continue to hold onto its lifeline since it’s got everything going for it. What’s the point in the other person letting go? Not only would they end up getting rid of a valuable resource, but then they’d have to build up that kind of relationship and trust with someone different all over again.
It’s important to understand that sometimes ending a relationship (be it with a friend, significant other or even just an acquaintence) is the healthiest option in the long run. The emotions of regret and failure may initially linger after the deed is done, but the feelings are momentary. Some of the relationships that you make end up being maintained and kept for forever, others sizzle out on their own, while a few have to be terminated by your own choice.
If you don’t break out of an unhealthy relationship, you’re letting the other person dictate your life and how you lead it. You end up allowing yourself to settle into a one-sided relationship and you’re caged within the limitations that the other person sets. You deserve better than that. And more often then not, most people don’t understand that until they’ve removed themselves from the situation and are actually able to experience the happiness that they deserve from being free.
It’s crazy just how much happier you feel once you’re out of a bad situation. And it shouldn’t have to be that way. You should never have to put yourself in or stay in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. You shouldn’t ever have to feel the opposite of happy, but learning and knowing that comes with experience. You never truly understand how wonderful your life should be until you hit your all time low.
So when you do get there, remember to tell yourself that you’re the one that’s in control of your life and that you shouldn’t let others dictate how you live. Don’t confine yourself, don’t get cagey as to what’s comfortable when it comes to boundaries. Always continue to seek happiness or you’ll always end up being at mercy of someone else’s happiness.
Bralette – Alexander Wang X H&M | Top – Forever21 | Shorts – Aritzia | Shoes – Zara
